This part of the page is for those of you who don’t know what the hell is going on when you look at a poker game. There is a lot of material out there to learn, but nothing like I have here. Below I will explain in relatable, beast terms so you’ll understand, not get extremely bored when you’re learning, and actually have motivation to want to play.
If you want to learn in an easy 5-minute video, here u go
If you want to read stuff to learn how to play and dont wanna watch a video, here u go
There are different weird variations of poker that losers play but the only one ur every gonna play is no-limit texas holdem. Trust me, that’s the one your friends play, that’s the one that Kevin down the street plays, that’s the one the man talks about on the tv, that’s the only one you’re ever gonna want or need to know.
The Objective
The Objective of poker is to win COLD HARD CASH. Hey that’s pretty cool right? Not many other games where you can make bread by just playing. So you’re trying to take money from your your opponents. So most times – your friends. So yeah, aiden’s gonna be telling you “you owe be 20 bucks for about the next year, get used to it. Look its a cruel world. Trust me, it’ll be fun.
Players
A full poker game has 9 guys. Honestly, though that always feels like too many people. I like around 6. Much better. But you can even play with just one other guy if you have no friends.
Cards
We use standard playing cards. If you dont know what those are, leave the page now, you’re screwed. Everybody at the table gets 2 cards. 1. 2. Everyone can look at their cards. Don’t show it to anyone tho. Keep them a sEcReT.
In addition to the two cards you also get, there are also 5 cards face up on the middle of table. Hey guess what, those are your cards too! Oh but guess what..they’re also everybody else’s. Those cards will come into play later. Look I know this might be getting overwhelming. I’m throwing a lot of info at you. But you’re a BEAST. Stay patient. You got this.
Chips
In addition to getting those 2 cards, you also get chips/ No not Lays, we’re talking about those round things that look like mini hockey picks. Those things you see at the casino on tv. Yeah those things. That represents your money. You could honesty just play with dollar bills and coins instead of these chips but they say this is better.
Betting
No how exactly do you win money? Well that is through the great process of betting. There are four rounds of betting. Remember how I said there would be 5 community cards in the middle. Yeah the betting is gonna take place after each one of those cards is revealed to the table. The goal of the game is to commit the most amount of money while you have the best PROBABILITY to win the had and to lose the least amount of money when you aint gonna win. You’re probably like this makes no sense. Wait, just please wait.
Hand Rankings
So how do you win perse. What do these cards mean? Okay so look at this sick pic. Youve prolly seen it b4
Take some time to look at that/ Memorize that shii. Honestly u can print it out and use it when u play the first few times. Laminate it, put some hello kitty stockers on it, write your name on it. Make it your own. This page good sir is the key to the game. So the goal is to make the best 5 card hand. Meaning you can use five cards out of the five cards in the middle and the 2 cards you have. 5 out of those 7. But most of the time only a few of the cards really matter.
Blinds
Each hand begin with 2 people posting blinds which are basically bets that they are forced to make before anyone sees their cards. Get it? They have to place their bets BLIND. We got Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder in the 1 and 2 seat folks. Wait that doesnt seem to fair for those….no its okay because these forced bets rotate clockwise after each hand. Now these blinds are important because they pretty much tell you how much youre gonna lose. jk i mean win….XD…..anyways, yeah win. So lets for example say that the blinds are 10 cents and 20 cents respectively. This is the standard blinds for a 20 dollar buy-in game. As you can assume logically, unless ur an absolute idiot – the amount of money that you buy in to the game is 100 times whatever the big blind is. .20 x 100 is $20. Math…how great. Yeah this whole concept of math is gonna come into play later. Anyways, one person will deal. The small blind is going to be the person to the left of the dealer. He will be forced to bet 10 cents and the guy to his left – the big blind – is going to be forced to bet 20 cents. The dealer will rotate to the left after each hand and so all the blinds will too. How fun
Getting dealt your cards
So the game starts when everyone gets dealt those 2 cards. Ah yes. The most exciting part of the game. What are my 2 magical cards gonna be. Rub on them, blow on them, make a wish, because whatever cards you get is all up to the poker gods. Now what kind of cards do u generally want to get? Well i’ll tell you. (1) 2 cards of the same number, a pair – we call this a “pocket pair.” Why? Well its kinda like since those cards are yours, you can like put em in ur pocket. i guess thats why. IDK pockets are probably going out of style anyway. (2) High cards… like 2 cards higher than a 10. jack queen king and ace. Oh yeah, an ace is the best card. (3) suited cards – remember that chart, yeah these cards will help u get that flush (4) connected cards (cards that are close to each other like a 7 and an 8, a jack and a queen). And you know what…that’s it. All the other hands are poo. A hand is extra good though if it has qualities of all of these. Ace King suited for example – one of the best 2 cards you can be dealt.
Opening Round of Betting
Now before any cards in the middle are shown, there is a round of betting. In this round you have 3 decisions (these are three very important words fellow beasts) – call, raise, or fold. The decision to do one of these 3 things starts with the guy to the left of the big blind. So if his 2 cards are bad, he should fold. If theyre real good, he should raise. If theyre pretty good, he should call. Lets say he raises and puts in 60 cents. Then the next guy has the same 3 decisions. And it goes around and everyone has to make a decision. Pay to play. You in?
“The Flop”
Finally, now those sweet sweet 3 cards are placed face up on the table. These are the first 3 community cards. So you wanna look at your cards and see if that flop was good for you. Do any of your cards pair the board? Do the cards on the board have the same suits as the ones in your hand? Can you maybe make a straight with the next two cards? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be entitled to a cash reward. But instead of calling your local attorney, considering staying in. We again do a round of betting. This time it starts with the small blind. Since there is no “forced bets” in this round, there is nothing to “call.” So your 3 options now are “check,” raise, or fold. Check is basically like saying “I pass.” You can only do this if noones placed a bet yet.
“The Turn”
One more community card is face up on the board. This is called the turn. Same shiz happens here.
“The River”
The final community card is placed on the board. This is called the river. Same shiz happens again. If it any point on the flop turn or river, everyone folds, then the last man standing wins the pot and that hands ends and we move to the next hand.
Showdown
After the betting on the river, if people still remain in the pot, cards are flipped over. Whoever ha the best hand wins and takes all of the money in the middle of the pot.
How should I bet???
You may be like…i dont know if i should fold this HAND. Am i supposed to call this or raise Should I always bet when i have a good hand? Is ths hand worth staying in? I dont know if Im doing this right!!!!!!!! yes yes yes i understand your concerns. That is pretty much the questions everyone is thinking. Look, the more you play, the better feel you’ll get about when to do certain things. Buttttt, if you need a little help, check out my beginner tips. But sorry, thats gonna be on a different part of this website.
Sooooooo….yeah. That’s how this game works.